Personalize Your Approach

Proverbs 4:3-4a, ESV

When I was a son with my father, tender, the only one in the sight of my mother, he taught me and said to me,

The first several chapters of Proverbs contain a series of paternal appeals instructing the reader to walk in the way of righteousness and wisdom. But the appeal in chapter 4 goes just a little bit differently than the others. 

The writer opens by saying, Listen, my sons, to a father’s instruction; pay attention and gain understanding (verse 1). 

Then his approach shifts. 

In verse 3 the writer says, when I was a son with my father…he taught me and said to me…

He makes it personal by putting himself back in the shoes of the ones he’s instructing.

It doesn’t matter if we are talking to our children or a coworker, one of the most powerful things we can do is personalize our approach. When we personally relate to someone else within the context of their need or situation, it completely shifts their receptivity. And, if we can’t relate to someone else’s need or situation, then we can still personalize our approach by telling our own story of weakness, learning, and growth. 

A personalized approach is an approach of humility—and humility paves the way for impact.